So, first R-Assignment. Here we go.

I was pretty excited for this assignment because I bullshit with hundreds of people a day -- it's my job. As the assistant manager of Jamba Juice, I basically get paid to hand people their order and then talk to them about whatever I can for a few minutes to make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Usually it's something pretty shallow like their drink choice, school, or weekend plans. But sometimes we strike up a pretty good convo -- sometimes.

Anyway, the girl I picked for my R was a blonde sorostitute (sorority girl/prostitute probably). After ordering her small, light calorie smoothie (typical), I asked her about the shirt she was wearing. It was a shirt for the volleyball game. As she was telling me about how she was wearing it to support the team, I was rolling my eyes at the fact that the stupid shirt swallowed her. It was probably a XXL. I nodded my head and pretended to be interested in what she was saying -- something about who she was going to the game with. Then I said, "I hope the volleyball girls do better than the football team." And she shot right back with some of the stats of the game. I was totally shocked. Like, she was a bimbo, she wasn't supposed to know about sports. All of a sudden I felt myself change (cheesy, whatever). I instantly went from all peppy and fake to actually being "myself". I felt like I didn't really have to pretend to be "like her" and all girly and stupid. We talked sports. And stats. And about the players asses. It was a really odd feeling. I felt kinda bad for judging her just because she was in a sorority -- not that bad though because 99% of them really are dimwits. Then I felt excited that another female was actually interested in sports like I am. Then I wondered if I should start drinking low calorie smoothies too because her legs were super thin. Then I realized it was probably time to stop talking so she could leave and I could get back to work. Then I wondered what skin products she uses. Really good skin. All this within 2 or 3 minutes. In conclusion, I guess I was really aware of how fast I changed when I realized there was actually something going on in her blonde head -- something that I was interested in too! She was cool and it was refreshing to talk about something other than the weather or the normal stupid stuff. I stopped being so peppy and girly (that's not how I normally speak) when I realized she wasn't as peppy or girly as I thought she'd be. My body language got a lot more relaxed when I felt like we were on "level" ground. It was a pretty quick little switch from "I have to talk to this girl and seem happy that I'm doing it while also trying to be girly enough so that she doesn't think I'm below her" to "this girl is cool -- now I can be myself".

Okay now for my boy I guess. I went out on Friday and got way too fucked up. No regrets. I met plenty of males, about 50% sucked and were boring, 30% were cool, and 20% were too busy drooling from being too drunk to actually interact with anyone around them. I met a guy named Daniel. At the time, I had definitely had a few drinks. I remember focusing all my energy into flexing my stomach so that I looked skinny and attractive -- I was wearing a shirt that was tied up exposing my mid-drift (or whatever old people call it). I was holding my cup with a tight fist because I was worried I might drop it otherwise, I was standing up as straight and tall as I could (slouching is so unattractive), I was laughing a little too loud at his jokes, and I was worried about how my hair looked (I had been sweating). We started talking about school and majors and hobbies and all the boring stuff that everyone talks about at first. We actually ended up having a lot in common. He was telling me about some of his favorite books he's read -- and I was telling him some of my favorite jokes (What do you call a cow after it has a baby? Decalfinated.) -- and I checked to make sure I was still flexing my stomach. I was. We talked for a little while longer, I gave him my number, and went back to the party -- Daniel was cool. But not cool enough to make me miss out on all the mingling and booze and madness for more than the 15 or 20 minutes we spent together. He actually texted me the next day -- how nice.

Let's see. Differences and similarities between my lady friend and my nonlady friend. My body language was definitely different when I was talking to Daniel. I mean, when I talk to other girls, I want to look nice and appear attractive -- but girls get it. If my hair isn't perfect or my make up is smudged, they don't judge because that shit happens to girls. But when I'm talking to guys I haven't met before, I want to try to make them think I'm the hottest lady in the house -- which I hardly ever am. But who doesn't want to hear a guy say they are pretty or whatever? Exactly. So I was definitely sucking in and standing like a lady and tousling my hair all girly and whatnot when I was interacting with Daniel. As far as language, I didn't really use any different vocab or words. My voice was probably a higher pitch when I talked to Daniel. "Cute" girls have high pitched voices. And I was drunk. That's just asking for a higher pitch than normal. What did I feel? When I talked to the girl, I felt like I had to. Because I did. For my job. It was enjoyable. But it wasn't the highlight of my day or anything. Talking to Daniel was nice. He was actually very intelligent and genuine. Something that isn't easy to find at a raging house party. So I felt happy and actually kinda lucky that I ran into a good person. I felt more at ease talking to Daniel than to the girl. Probably because I have always gotten along better with males. Females are just too dramatic. We all want to talk about ourselves or one up each other. It's natural. But males, they just go with the flow. The 2 minutes I spent with the girl was nice -- she was laid back and cool and stuff -- but any more time would've been too long. It was a breeze chatting with Daniel. So I guess what I'm saying is, my body felt more unnatural talking to Daniel, but I was more comfortable and more myself. My personality is pretty cool -- so I just had to make sure my exterior looked good too. I feel like this is a pretty common feeling. That I feel more comfortable around boys than girls. I mean, obviously not my girl friends -- I can totally be myself. But like, strangers. Hmm. Don't know though. May depend on a person to person basis. Will have to try this experiment over and over again. Become more conscious and think about this further.